Long time no post! My life is a nutshell is always a roller coaster. My work life is getting better, but my love life is not. I’m still trying to let go of my “friend”. It’s a work in progress, but re-reading my last blog made me cry. For the past two days, that’s all I seem to do is cry. But enough of that, let me get to my point/rant for the day.
Throughout my life, I come across questions that resonate from my soul. The most recent question… “Why does it seem to be that I am not good enough”? A tear escapes my eye just replaying the line in my head.
Here I am: 27, single, alone, no children, and mostly stressed from everyday challenges. I have been engaged before, even had a few “I thought this was going to be long-lasting relationship,” but the end result is clear… I end up alone. And to make matters worse, I have ex-lovers regretting their decision and wanting me back. But, they don’t want ME back; they want a piece of me, usually sexually. I detest with every fiber of my being that all I am good for is a piece of ass. Yes, I am a generous lover, a confident one as well; but, that is all you can remember about me?
What about how understanding I am, my compassion, my witty sense of humor, and the ability to accept you for who you are? No, we go straight for how I made your toes curl or eyes roll in the back of your head. How I made you high five Jesus and speak in different tongues. Sex is only one part of a relationship, and nowadays, it seems to be the only factor. There is something wrong with this picture. Ladies and gentlemen, I am done! I want to tell the universe to please stop sending me people who have wasted my time and taken my heart for granted.
One day I will find my person, it’s just not today. And, certainly not an ex who had something great with me 7 years ago! I was ALWAYS good enough, it just took you too long to realize, and that’s unfortunate on your behalf… not mine.